A Letter to My Fellow Pastors

My fellow-laborers in this kingdom work,

I’m sure that most of you have heard about the tragic loss of one of our brothers who ended his life on this earth this past weekend. He was, by all accounts, a gifted, successful, and fruitful servant of our King. But he was also a man embattled with things that a good many—perhaps even most—of us face in our often lonely lives in full-time ministry.

I didn’t know the man and I am not trying to draw conclusions about his life or his death. But I understand how even a faithful child of God could find themselves at such a desperate place.

My last pastorate ended over eleven years ago soon after a diagnosis of a severe depression. I learned many difficult and painful lessons in that season. I learned that sometimes the intense and overwhelming feelings we can experience are so unbelieveably loud while the foundational truth that we know is very quiet. When what we know and what we feel are so greatly at odds, our whole being is in conflict. It is agonizing at best. Continue reading A Letter to My Fellow Pastors

Beautiful Mess

These flowers are growing in my flower bed. I planted them a few seasons ago because my Sweetie loves daisies. I do too now. They’re very resilient and remarkably hearty.

I planted daisies so my wife would see them day after day and know that I love her.

But there are other less intentional results of planting daisies.

I see them and remember why I planted them. I see them in the winter time when everything is brown and dormant and I pull the old dead stuff away. I see them begin to come back each spring with those dark green leaves peaking through the mulch. I see them spread out and fill out and produce those little buds. I see the first flowers and know that there are many more to come.

But sometimes I just see the grass that I can’t seem to get to grow 3 feet away on the other side of the sidewalk and yet somehow thrives in the midst of the daisies. Sometimes I see that annoying nutgrass stalk that, if I pull it out, will somehow multiply and spread even more. Sometimes I see the dead leaves that I didn’t manage to get cleaned out of the flower bed very effectively. Continue reading Beautiful Mess

The Mess of Failure

Failure is something we all have in common. We’ve all experienced it.

In fact, if we’re completely honest with ourselves, it’s a very, very common occurrence in some way or another.

Jesus’ disciples were familiar with this as well. When Jesus was arrested, His followers scattered. Peter followed at a safe distance, but then, when it was suggested that he was with Jesus, he denied that he knew Jesus… 3 times.

In their guilt and fear and lack of understanding, Peter and some of the others went fishing one night. And there, in their failure, Jesus came.

Jesus stepped into the mess of their failure and brought purpose.

Will you SEE HIM – that He is not finished with you despite your failures?

Will you BELIEVE HIM – that there is so much more of Himself that He wants to show you?

Will you KNOW HIM – more and more and more as you walk through this life seeking, following, learning of Him?