Confessions of a Broken Tool

Blow the Dam

What if you suddenly realized that God has a desire to overflow your life with His grace?

If you are a follower of Jesus, then you probably suspect (even if you’re not really fully convinced just yet) that this is true.

I would go so far as to say that the entirety of Scripture is an expression of the unmerited favor of a holy and loving Creator for his fallen and unworthy creatures that will end in an eternal flood of His grace beyond our imagination.

That was kind of a thick, chewy sentence. Let’s try that again.

The Bible is all about God’s grace for broken people.

This morning I was reading in Brother Lawrence’s “The Practice of the Presence of God.” He suggests that God is eager to pour out His grace in every part of your life and mine. He paints a picture of a torrent or flood of God’s grace and favor that overflows the banks of our expectations and overruns our boundaries. (Fourth Letter)

I think he’s on to something.

I believe God’s holy desire is to flood every corner of your life with His grace—a grace that loves us unconditionally exactly as we are but loves too intensely to simply leave us as we are.

But we humans are dam builders.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary entry for “dam”

Do you see that? A dam is built to prevent the flow.

Is it possible that we have built dams around certain parts of our lives that prevent the free flow of God’s grace into that part of us?

Maybe it’s a relationship in which we are harboring bitterness or envy or hatred. Perhaps it’s an area of struggle or sin that we are unwilling to confess. It might even be some part of us that we are so very proud of that we hold only for our own fame.

And we have erected a dam that prevents the flow of the torrent of God’s grace into that area of life.

Can I tell you a secret?

His grace is better. I promise.

When we are willing to blow the dam, we find that we have been, like the little dutch boy, holding our finger in the hole or continually piling up sandbags to reinforce the dam… and when we just let go and let his very grace blow up the dam, we find the sweet, rejuvenating wonder of His grace pouring over us.

Come on, now. Blow the dam.

You’re not sure where it is? Ask Him to show you.

Then blow the dam.

Not sure how? Ask Him to show you.

Then blow the dam.

Let His unfettered grace infuse every part of you.

And in that unhindered flow you will find, as Peter called it, a “joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory.”

Am I really sure about this?

James seemed to be when he wrote, “But he gives more grace.” (James 4.6) How much? More. More than what? Yes. More.

Am I sure that there is really more grace than my sin? I am a pretty big sinner. But Paul taught me that “where sin increased, grace abounded all the more.” (Romans 5:20)

It really is true. As John testified of Jesus:

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth… For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. (John 1.14, 16)

Like flood waters piling above and beyond, so His grace abounds.

So blow the dam and let grace flow.

Just Jesus.

Do you have a favorite t-shirt?

One of my all-time favorites was one I bought the summer God began to turn my world upside down and move me out of the band room into the pastor’s study.

The shirt was a plain gray shirt with two words on the front and two on the back.

Just Jesus

Nothing More

It came from a song we sang that week at camp. It was written by the worship leader for the week, Tom Duckett. I’ve looked all over for the recording but cannot find it. The lyrics were so beautifully simple that I remember them still.

Only Jesus paid the price for me

Only His love could set me free

Nobody else could open heaven’s door

Just Jesus and nothing more

I’ve been reminded of this as we spent so much time in Philippians 3 this weekend and we heard Paul saying that knowing Jesus was the thing that mattered. In fact, he testified that all of the rest of his accomplishments and experiences and hopes and dreams and aspirations were like a pile of garbage (or worse) in comparison.

It seems that, if you asked him what in all the world he wanted, Paul’s answer would have been, “Just Jesus, nothing more.”

I am finding more and more that, when I passionately press in to know Jesus, He seems to do things in me and through me that I cannot do. He teaches others things I cannot teach. He loves others in ways I cannot love. He speaks words of comfort and peace and hope that I cannot speak.

And when I look at what He commanded, I see that the essence of it all was to love Him with all that I am and to love others like I’m inclined to love myself. But I wrestle with the question: how can I be focused on Him and loving to others at the same time?

I think maybe I’m starting to get it. When I am so heart-soul-mind-strength focused on Jesus, He goes around loving others and I come along. He goes to my neighbor and serves Him and I come along. He does the things I cannot do and directs the steps I don’t know how to take and speaks the words that I have no way to express.

And what do I get?

I get what I most desperately need and most desperately long for and most desperately hope for…

Just Jesus.

Nothing more.

Because when we get Jesus, everything else melts away in insignificance.

I’m convinced that the work He wants to do in transforming my life is not about me. It’s for you. He wants to transform me to serve you. And He wants to transform you to serve another.

And in it all we get the key to everything – Jesus Himself.

I have come to understand that genuine love does what is best for the one loved. John told us that God so loved the world that He gave us what we most needed—Himself.

What do you need? Really?

Just Jesus.

Nothing More.

Family Ties

It was a very long day.

Almost nothing was crossed off of the list.

There were a few hours on the road. There were a few hours in waiting rooms. There were a couple of meals shared with family. There were painful phone calls and some heavy wrestling with reality.

We had breakfast with son #3 and our soon-to-be daughter-in-law to celebrate her birthday this weekend. It was an early but sweet time of talking with them as they wade through what promises to be a heavy semester as they both approach the end of their college journey in the next year and a half. We’re blessed by the way they love and look after one another and we eagerly await their marriage in just a few months. That’s the plan. But nobody knows what tomorrow will bring.

My mom had a fourth neck surgery to re-do a previous one that just didn’t take. We were there to cut up with the various surgical folks before they took her in and got the usual strange looks in the waiting room as we dealt with things the way we usually do in stressful time – through random absurdities and oddball memories.

The surgery was smooth and successful… but that’s never a guarantee, is it?

We enjoyed a late lunch with my dad and my sister before we got to see mom back in her room. She did seem to come through with both her sense of humor and ability to roll her eyes well preserved—both of which are naturally put to the test when we are together.

We left mom in good hands and went on to see Tori’s grandfather in the Veteran’s Center. He volunteered to join the Navy late in World War II and received a Medal of Victory. This dear man, despite his flaws and mistakes and deep regrets, has been yet another example of God’s grace to use broken tools. Even in his frailty and waning health, he was an encouragement to me to press on—asking about my ministry, my education, my family. It would not be any surprise if that were the last time we were to see him.

As we turned back toward home, we soon received word that my most memorable and earliest childhood playmate, my cousin Molly, had passed away after a long, miserable struggle. She was 48 years old—just two months younger than me. She left a loving husband and four kids behind and big extended family as well.

Molly and I were the first of Grandma’s brood of grandkids. I was the oldest by just a bit (and, of course, always Grandma’s favorite—there’s really not anything to debate there).  Our biggest feuds back in the day came when I found her perched in my spot on the right arm of Grandaddy’s chair. The audacity of this usurper knew no bounds!

There on the wooden arms of that red, rough-upholstered rocking chair, Grandaddy would read to us from the “smoke-a-pipe book” until Grandma’s “bowl-a-soup” was ready to eat. And we’d race for the stool at the corner of the dinner table. “That’s my seat, Chichael!” Molly would point out to me. (For some reason Michael came out of her mouth with a k sound as small children sometimes do.)

Last night I called and talked our Grandma, now 96 years of age, who is so heartbroken to hear of the passing of her oldest granddaughter, the one named after her. My heart hurts.

In the midst of all of these family ties, I realize something of great importance. I am so very rich to have family. And the thing that makes them so much richer is the fact that our ties are not just genetic—they’re spiritual. My cousin Molly, flawed and broken as all of us are, had placed her trust and hope and confidence in Jesus Christ who transformed the grave into a dark doorway to something far greater. Death is no longer a dead end.

I am forever grateful for family ties that go beyond this world. 

While we do not know what will happen today or tomorrow, we have our family meeting place appointed. What a great family reunion awaits all of us who have simply believed.

Will you be there?